A NOTE TO THE CHINESE

I DO NOT HATE CHINESE PEOPLE. I ONLY HATE THE WAY THEY CONDUCT THEIR BUFFET RESTAURANTS. IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE HUMOR IN THIS, THEN CRAWL BACK UNDER YOUR ROCK AND TAKE A LONG NAP.

Let's get chinese tonight!

Oh, those famous last words....countless american families spew out these same words when they are sick and tired of cooking. So we pack everyone up and head out to a chinese buffet. Yeah...all you can eat!!!! But you get there and your heart sinks because the food is overheated and stuck to the pans, all dried out. So then you settle for some rice, the cheapest food on earth. The chinese assholes are watching from the kitchen, thinking..."let them eat the rice and junk carbs. They will get bloated on that garbage then we won't have to give them anything with food value". Their main concern is to get enough tips to buy more opium. They want you out of that door as fast as you came in. Just watch how fast they run over to your table as soon as you get up to leave. They immediately rifle through everything on the table looking for that precious tip. Even though they treated you like a bum...THEY WANT THAT TIP. You might say..."hey, if you don't like the chinese buffets then don't go to them". RIGHT!! But we have stopped going to them. I just want to warn you before you have the problems we had at our last buffet meeting.

I'll never forget that frightening night....But we laughed our balls off.

I'll never forget that frightening night when our group was out to our Chinese meeting when all of a sudden I heard, in a most disgusted, hateful tone, some mutant chinese gibberish intended for my virgin ears: "YOU...EAT TOO MUCH...YOU...YES YOU...TOO MUCH!!!!!". This was the most insulting experience I've ever had at one of these buffets, which were going downhill rapidly, and on that fateful night the truth was at it's clearest...THEY HATE OUR GUTS AT THESE BUFFETS. We had to flee from the cops that night, and basically I made a promise to the guys I would let the whole world know that CHINESE BUFFETS SUCK! This particular restaurant has an idiot manager who looks like a chinese version of Robert DeNiro on crack. And he has another henchman who lurks in the kitchen and looks like he has been smoking opium and only comes out when someone like me refuses to take their shit. Yes, it was a night to remember, and it will always stay in our minds. We still hold our meetings, but we try to go to places where we know we won't get the shaft, which is getting progressively more difficult as time marches on!

This is a place for you to leave your opinions, experiences, and a general place for you to vent about how you've been screwed by chinese buffets!

You know what I mean...you go up to the buffet table and you find nothing but rice and junk carbs....very little protein.....and what meat and seafood there is consists of the lowest quality garbage available to man or beast. I feel that we need to make these assholes raise their quality. They came to this country based on rumours that "the streets are paved with gold"...and then what do they do? They shit in the streets....most, if not all, of these chinese restaurants are filthy, scummy, dirty dumps. When they first came to the US in the mid-seventies they were on their best behavior, then after we accepted them they simply said "fuck it"....now they just plain SUCK. Let's face it....that IS NOT CHICKEN you are eating. Just look at the so-called "chicken" in your "chicken and broccoli".....this is something "otherworldly"...or as I now call it..."thirdworldly". And that spongey so-called "beef"...IT IS NOT BEEF! It tastes like shit. OK...I'll let you explain here in your comments. I want this blog to grow so that we can make a change!